Apparently Bugs Bunny should have taken a left at Albuquerque. Bummer, Bugs. Maybe you’ll end up at a Left at Albuquerque restaurant, and if you do, order up an Albuquerque Rocks (under ‘Specialty Drinks’) for me. Let me know how it goes, will ya. A Tecate-tomato-Worcestershire-lime fusion? Who knows?
UPDATE: This is an Albuquerque Rocks, apparently.
Washington, D.C. likes to host conventions on hosting conventions. Genius! Albuquerque likes to bring ‘magic cookies’ to said conventions. Genius-i-er!
Food seems to be a big part of selling a city. There were close-ups of Corpus Christi’s Whataburger and what appeared to be giant sparkly gumdrops at Knoxville’s booth. Albuquerque flew in pastry chef Chris Morales to whip up some “magic cookies” and give away loaves of his green chili bread in burlap bags.
Green chile bread… sure. Yeah, that’s what’s in there…
Something stinks in Jersey. Yeah, I guess somethings stink in Jersey, but it isn’t the delicious caldo de camerone crema! Central Jersey’s Home News Tribune unabashedly attempts to duplicate a caldo recipe served at Albuquerque’s very own Pupuseria y Restaurant Salvadoreno:
Caldo camerone is a brothy, soupy meal, pink on pink. Add creaminess with milk or canned, unsweetened coconut milk (usually with the Asian ingredients in your supermarket).
It’s fashioned after an unforgettable soup served in a modest little Salvadoran restaurant, Pupuseria y Restaurant Salvadoreno, in Albuquerque, N.M. Though the owner declines to divulge his own recipe, we’ve done a fair job of duplicating it, and the secret is coconut milk.
Ah, ha! Coconut milk. I knew it.
Next time you’re in Tampa stop by Lonni’s Sandwiches, Etc. and try yourself an Albuquerque Turkey. Notice anything? Chipotle?!
Ok. Listen up, world. (Especially all you marketing gurus.) First, stop abusing ‘chipotle.’ Every restaurant you go to has a chipotle something-or-other. Stop it. Stop it now. Chipotle is not a synonym of hot, spicy or fiery. That stuff you pass of as chipotle is most definitely not hot nor chipotle. Just stop. Not only are you embarrassing yourselves, but you’re contributing to the dumbing down of culture. Be ashamed! Be very ashamed!
Damn. It feels nice up here on this horse.
Moving on… Albuquerque Turkey?! I’ll admit, I thought the name was flippin’ genius around the age of four, but somewhere between years five and six I decided it was lame and haven’t looked back since. Turkey is the tabula rasa of meats. It needs dressing up. I get it. No real problem there, but your chipotle turkey sandwich is anything but Albuquerque.
Look, Albuquerque is the largest city in New Mexico. New Mexico has its own cuisine. To dumb it down for you, geen and red chile is the cornerstone of damn near every New Mexican dish. If you insist upon having an Albuquerque Turkey in your shop, you might consider New Mexican chiles over chipotles. The state question is ‘Red or green?’; not ‘Would you like smoked red jalapeño?’
World, I apologize for getting all ‘local’ on your ass, but the Albuquerque Turkey wasn’t born here. I know. Your heart is broken, but its better Albuquerque tell you than squeeze itself into a lie. Don’t worry, we can still be friends. Just don’t freak out when we put chile on our turkey.
I have it on good word (off the clock employees are good word, right?) that Chama River Brewing Company is going to open a new watering hole Downtown. But wait, Chama already has a bar down there?! Yes, Chama does have a bar on 2nd Street & Central, but it is a tiny little side bar — which is cozy, but evidently inadequate in bed in square footage.
So where do we get our drink on?
Glad you asked, I guess. The new spring of fermented goodness will sprout on 2nd Street and Marble. Yeah, a little weird, but who am I refute the claims of a barkeep (psst.. they don’t like it when you call them ‘barkeep,’ weird). The location is mighty close to the courthouses, which are in need of a good spot for the always in style “businessman’s lunch.” (Carom Club, you missed that boat.) In fact, the Rio Chama serves that very necessary function exceptionally well in Santa Fe. Ok, so the 2nd and Marble location makes sense.
Other details? Well, they’re going to move the whole brewing operation Downtown. Food may or may not be served (yeah, I’m super informative). The bar will have the look and feel of the I-25 location. And the old Downtown location will close its doors… which seems silly. I mean, look, Downtown nightlife is Central Avenue. I understand moving the ‘Chama,’ but surely you could turn the old location into, oh, I don’t know, another Sleeping Dog Tavern.
Ok, kids, it’s 12:30. Lunch time.
Dear Weekly Alibi,
Picked up your publication today. Zombies, eh? Don’t worry, I have a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide, and something on robots, too — just in case. (Christmas presents from Mom, if you were wondering.) I thought Thomas Gilchrist’s sign-off was nice. He embraced his inner Burqueño; I tip my hat. The telephone numbers were on point, I think the first few pages of the phone book would agree. But I have a beef with you, Alibi. You straight disrespected ABQrising.
“50 Ways to Blog New Mexico.” Couldn’t include one more? Isn’t it against some ‘periodical code’ to publish lists ending with the zero digit? No room for ABQrising in the 505? Really?
That’s ok. You did point to many of my favorites, and I have been out of town most of the summer, too. You know what — where’s the beef? There is no beef. Silly me. By your own admission the list isn’t “comprehensive.” And after all, I’m just a schmuck with an internet connection.
Wait a second! I counted; your list includes 51 blogs. Not cool, Alibi. There is only one way to settle this — dance off. No! I’d lose that contest. Hmm… I’ve heard a lot about this ‘Geeks Who Drink’ deal down at Burt’s. Sounds like a contest I may be overqualified for… perfect. When you’re ready to step up to the bar, name the Monday. ABQrising It’s better than falling Is always thirsty.
Cry if you must,
Bottom of the Glass
The People’s Republic of Seabrook on Albuquerque:
….There must be more Starbucks locations here than anywhere on the face of the planet outside Seattle….
So you’ve noticed.
Burque Twitter